Twelve Steps to Increase Your Self-Esteem

It all begins one day, with your birth into the world. Showered with love and affection, you are adored, appreciated and enjoyed...

A low self-esteem simply does not exist.

Everything around you, indeed the whole universe, is simply an extension of yourself.

Although you were cranky when you were hungry, tired or wet, you made no negative judgments about yourself the way adolescents and adults do. You never cried about self-doubt, self-hate, or wanting to be popular.

As an infant, you still hold the idea that you're the center of the universe.

When you enter the shopping mall - you don't just want a toy - you want the toy store.

And then... 20-30-40 years later (after a few 'failures' and many statements such as "You can't always get what you want..." or "You've been bad this morning, so you can't have it now..." or "If you'll behave yourself, tomorrow you can have one...") ... you visit someone for the first time.

They ask you a simple question: "would you like tea or coffee?"And you answer: "oh, it doesn't matter" or "what's easier for you" or "no thanks, I've had coffee in the morning..."

What a long way down the hill, from the once high-point of a healthy self-esteem...

As adults, we can choose the messages we accept or reject.No one can make you feel inferior without your permission.

The building of a high self-esteem is a continuing process, not something that can be developed overnight.From my experience of working with thousands of people, every person has the capacity for a high self-esteem.The only question is, are you ready to make the commitment necessary to increase your self-esteem?

If your answer is yes, here are 12 steps to get you started:

STEP 1
------
Stop comparing yourself with others.There will always be some people who have more than you and some who have less.You are unique and your purpose is to express your uniqueness. Who can do that better than you?

STEP 2
------
Stop diminishing yourself with negative judgments.You can't develop high self-esteem if you repeat negative phrases about yourself and your abilities.

STEP 3
------
Avoid perfectionism.Perfectionism paralyzes you and keeps you from accomplishing your goals.

STEP 4
------
Surround yourself with positive, supportive people.When you are surrounded by negative people who constantly put you down, your self-esteem is diminished.

STEP 5
------
Acknowledge yourself.Get yourself a beautiful booklet, and write in it every night, before going to sleep, 20 things you did well during the day. Big or small, doesn't matter, as long as you allow yourself to feel acknowledged.

STEP 6
------
Give more of yourself to those around you.When you do things for others, you are making a positive contribution and subsequently begin to feel more valuable, which, in turn, lifts your spirits and raises your own self-esteem.

STEP 7
------
Get involved in the work and activities that inspire you.It's hard to feel good about yourself if your days are spent in work you detest.Even if you cannot leave your present work situation immediately, you can still devote leisure time to hobbies and activities, which you find stimulating and enjoyable.

STEP 8
------
Be true to yourself.Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you.If you're making decisions based on getting approval from friends and relatives, you aren't being true to yourself and your self-esteem will suffer as a direct consequence.

STEP 9
------
Solve problems.Don't avoid problems, and don't complain about them.Treat them as challenges and opportunities for growth.

STEP 10
-------
Respect your own needs.Recognize and take care of your own needs and wants first.Identify what really fulfills you - not just immediate gratifications.Respecting your deeper needs will increase your sense of worth and well-being.

STEP 11
-------
Free yourself from "shoulds".Live your life on the basis of what is possible for you and what feels right to you instead of what you or others think you "should" do.Discover what you want and what you are good at and take actions designed to fulfill your potential.And the most important of them all,

STEP 12
-------
Take action!You won't develop high self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and avoid challenges.When you take action - regardless of the result - you feel better about yourself.When you fail to move forward because of fear and anxiety, you create frustration and dissatisfaction within yourself.

The 'real you' is a magnificent, unique being with enormous potential and capacity for experiencing self-love and extending that love to others.

As your self-esteem grows, this 'real you' emerges.You begin to take more risks without the fear of failure.You are no longer preoccupied with obtaining the approval of others; your relationships are much more rewarding; you pursue activities that bring you both joy and satisfaction; and you will make a positive contribution to the world.

Most importantly, high self-esteem brings you peace of mind.When you're alone - you truly appreciate the person you're with - yourself.

DIFFERENT THINGS MOTIVATE DIFFERENT PEOPLE!!!

DIFFERENT THINGS MOTIVATE DIFFERENT PEOPLEInternal motivation comes from within, such as pride, a sense ofachievement, responsibility and belief.


There was a young boy who used to come for regular practice but always

played in the reserves and never made it to the soccer eleven. While he

was practicing, his father used to sit at the far end, waiting for him.

The matches had started and for four days, he didn't show up forpractice or

the quarter or semifinals.

All of a sudden he showed up forthe finals,

went to the coach and said, "Coach, you have always kept mein the reserves

and never let me play in the finals. But today, pleaselet me play."
The coach said, "Son, I'm sorry, I can't let you.

There are betterplayers than you and besides, it is the finals, the reputation of the

school is at stake and I cannot take a chance."

The boy pleaded, "Coach,I promise I will not let you down.

I beg of you, please let me play."

The coach had never seen the boy plead like this before.

He said, "OK,son, go, play. But remember, I am going against my better judgment and

the reputation of the school is at stake.

Don't let me down." The game

started and the boy played like a house on fire.

Every time he got theball, he Shot a goal. Needless to say,

he was the best player and the

star of the game. His team had a spectacular win.

When the gamefinished, the coach went up to him

and said, "Son, how could I have beenso wrong in my life.

I have never seen you play like this before.

Whathappened?
How did you play so well?"

The boy replied, "Coach, my father is

watching me today."
The coach turned around and looked at the place where the boy's father

used to sit.

There was no one there.

He said, "Son, your father used to

sit there when you came for practice, but I don't see anyone there

today.

" The boy replied, "Coach, there is something I never told you.

Myfather was blind. Just four days ago, he died.

Today is the first day heis watching me from above."


Internal Motivation
Internal motivation is the inner gratification, not for success orwinning, but for the Fulfillment that comes from having done it. It is afeeling of accomplishment, rather than just achieving a goal.